Dating

10 Important Things To Remember When You Just Can’t Seem To Find A Date

Being single can be relentlessly frustrating, especially when you are trying endlessly to find someone to go out with. There are times where you doubt your own self-worth, and you might start to wonder if anyone would ever be interested in you.

You can’t let being single define you. You’re so much more than what your relationship status is on Facebook. When you feel low and bummed, here are 10 important things to remember.

  1. Most relationships don’t last. Sad but true. Everyone wants to think that their current relationship is so wonderful and will be the one that beats the odds and makes it through, but it probably won’t be. Sorry! Just the brutal cold truth here. Every single relationship you have will either end or last forever. Most of them will end.
  2. It’s more valuable to invest in yourself and in a someone. There are countless ways we can all improve ourselves every single day. We can all become healthier, learn a new skill, work toward a goal, etc. Being single isn’t “wasted time,” it’s time you’re using to become the person who your dream partner would want to date.
  3. How long you’re single never actually matters. Once you find an incredible date and things start to click, are you ever again going to care about how long you were single? Absolutely not! It won’t matter because you are with someone who is awesome and makes you happy. Your future partner won’t care either. It’s just not a big deal.
  4. You can strengthen and deepen your friendships in the meantime. Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you have to be a lone wolf who does nothing except stay at home and suffer in singledom. You can put more energy into your friendships, which can be rewarding relationships of a different kind. Your true bros will always have your back through romantic ups and downs, and those bonds are worth their weight in gold. Don’t become so fixated on a partner that you don’t develop a crew of amazing friends who will enrich your life whether you’re single or not.
  5. Millions of other people are in the exact same boat. You’re not alone. Actually, you’re going through the exact same thing as countless other people. You’re not some kind of loser just because you can’t find someone to take to a movie. There’s nothing wrong with you — or the other million people who are single and going stag.
  6. Lots of people regret bad relationships, but they rarely regret being single. Very few people look back and think, “Wow, I really wish I’d been dating someone last year!” but a lot more people look back on a toxic relationship and wish that it had never happened. Oftentimes, it’s much better being deliberate in relationships rather than rushing into something just to have a date.
  7. You have a great opportunity to define how you see yourself. When you’re in a relationship with someone, a lot of who you are is defined by another person. When you’re single, you aren’t forced to compromise. You can explore, discover, and generally find out who you want to be without having to fit someone else into your life.
  8. Dating costs a shit ton of money. Like it or not, it’s true. Unless you plan on every single date being Netflix and chill, you’re going to have to spend some money on dinners, drinks, movies, and everything else. Even if you decide to buck tradition and split the bill, it’s going to add up over time and start to really taking big bites of your wallet.
  9. Dating can cause a shit ton of drama. Almost all relationships will eventually end, and while some have smooth endings, many of them definitely don’t. Even during the relationship itself, you might encounter some drama, like if your S.O.’s friends don’t like you or you get in a big fight. Sometimes it’s just fewer headaches to go it alone.
  10. It takes a long time to find the right fit, and once you do, it will be worth it. The time that you spend single will help you understand what you truly need in a partner so that when you do find the right person, it’ll be a rewarding relationship. It might be frustrating in the moment to be the only one in your friend group without a date, but it’s nothing you should beat yourself up over or necessarily be in a hurry to change.