Dating

10 Signs Your Female Friend Is A Threat To Your Relationship

The narrative that men and women can’t be “just friends” is harmful and false, but it’s not unheard of for some women to have ulterior motives with their male friends. If your gal pal is doing these things, she may be trying to prompt you to be unfaithful or break up with your significant other:

  1. She never wants your partner to come along when you hang out. Any true friend would want to get to know your partner. If your female friend insists that you two hang out alone all the time, it’s not necessarily because she has feelings for you and is trying to get you to be unfaithful — it could simply be that she doesn’t see you two as a unit. Your partner doesn’t need to join you and your friend every time you hang out, but it’s going to be a problem if your friend will only spend time with you.
  2. She sends you flirty texts and emojis. It doesn’t matter if your friend is “just a flirty person” — there’s no reason for her to be regularly peppering her texts to you with winky or kissy-face emojis when you’re in a relationship. It might seem silly to have to push back on your friend for occasionally sending flirty messages or emojis, but those “small” interactions can be her way of dipping her toes in before she slowly sinks deeper into your relationship.
  3. She brings up sexual discussion topics with you. If your female friend really is “like a sister” to you, there’s really no reason why she should be asking you what you like in bed or what you think she should do with the guy she’s planning on hooking up with tonight. If she seems like she’s trying her darndest to steer your conversation to the topic of sex, she’s probably doing her best to get you to think about her in a sexual situation.
  4. She’s standoffish or rude to your partner. Unless your partner is a bad or unpleasant person, your friend has no excuse to be mean to her. It’s a red flag if your partner and friend end up in a group setting together and your friend makes it known that she wants nothing to do with the person you’re dating; she might be trying to make your partner feel unwelcome in your social circle.
  5. She texts or calls you late at night. There’s no real reason for “just a friend” to be sending you the “what’s up?” text at 11 pm on a weeknight. She might not necessarily be hoping that you’ll be unfaithful to your partner for a booty call with her, but at the very least, she could be hoping to make your significant other wonder who could be making your phone buzz at such an hour.
  6. She constantly asks you for favors. Friends help each other out, and there’s nothing inherently wrong with your female friend asking for your help to fix something or move a large piece of furniture. The problem starts to appear when you’re clearly her go-to guy for everything, whether it’s changing a lightbulb or just listening to her vent. She could be trying to spend more time with you while sending a message to your partner about how far you’ll go for her.
  7. She’s overly physically affectionate with you when you’re together. If you’d be uncomfortable with your guy friend playing with your hair or sitting on your lap, your female friend shouldn’t be doing it, either. Women do this as a way to “mark their territory,” and especially if she’s touchy with you when your partner is around, this could be her way of testing the boundaries of your relationship and seeing what she can get away with.
  8. She brings up memories that you two shared in front of your partner. If you two are longtime friends, chances are you’ll have some experiences together that didn’t involve your significant other, and that’s fine. Just make a mental note if your friend starts getting a bit excessive with the “remember whenning,” especially when your partner is around. She might be doing it to make a point about how close you two are in comparison to how close you are with your partner.
  9. She acts like your partner is a burden on your friendship. Shut your friend down immediately if she starts bringing up how much more “fun” you were when you were single, or how you two used to spend so much time together before you started dating her. A good friend — especially a good friend of the opposite sex — will recognize that the dynamic between you will probably change when you get into a serious relationship. A friend with malicious intent will try to make it seem like your significant other is the enemy.
  10. She expects you to prioritize her over your partner. A friend who calls you “whipped” for not canceling plans with your partner to go hang out with her is no friend at all. While your significant other shouldn’t consume your whole life, she should certainly be prioritized over the women in your life who are just platonic friends. If your friend thinks differently, she could be trying to create a wedge in your relationship.