Dating

10 Things That Matter Just As Much As Words On A Dating App

You spend hours crafting the perfect messages to matches you’ve made on a dating app in the hope of securing a connection. That’s great, but don’t ignore these other 10 things that matter just as much, if not more, as what you say.

  1. Your vibe. What energy do you give off in your messages? Every time you send someone a message, there’s an underlying energy. It could be unsure, like if you use long-winded sentences or you jump around a lot with your train of thought. It could be happy, like if you have short, snappy messages that use upbeat words or humor. It could be flirtatious, like if you pepper your messages with lots of “hmms” and “oohs” (don’t do that, it’s annoying). Let a friend read your messages and tell you what energy they pick up – it might surprise you.
  2. How much time you have. Are your messages short and rushed? Do you send one-word answers? Not only is that annoying but it shows your matches that you’re not really present. You’re in a hurry, using messages to try to get what you want, whether that’s a hookup or an actual date. You’re not really invested in the process.
  3. Your mixed messages. You can be the most charming, friendly person in your messages, but if your picture looks brooding or like you’re pissed off, you’re sending her mixed messages about what you’re like. Make sure the expression you have in your pictures matches up with how you’re trying to appear in your messages. Both should reveal your personality.
  4. Emojis (that could be killing your chances). You might like to slot in a few emojis here or there to get your message across, but make sure you’re not using emojis that are actually preventing you from getting dates or replies. According to a study by dating app Clover, there are certain emojis that women don’t respond to. These include the fist bump, flexed bicep, clapping, and eggplant (which everyone knows is a phallic symbol, right?).
  5. Silence (it speaks a thousand words). If you prefer to say as little as possible about yourself on a dating app, you’re sabotaging your chances of getting a hot date instead of being mysterious or intriguing women to ask you about yourself. The bio section is there for a reason! Use it.
  6. Your attention (or lack thereof). It’s not just what you say to a potential match that can interest her, but also how well you pay attention to information she’s providing in her profile. Don’t just message her based on her profile pic – have a proper read through her profile. You’ll see that she’s telling people what she wants, so use that information to guide you. If she’s not a party girl and she doesn’t drink alcohol, but you’re clubbing and drinking every weekend, is a relationship between you really going to work out? Probably not, so don’t be surprised if she doesn’t reply to your message.
  7. Your pictures. Yes, pictures matter on dating apps, but too many can cause you to lose out on potential matches. Why? People will glance through all your dating app pics and find one they don’t like, and then decide not to talk to you because of that one. Yeah, it’s harsh, but true. Also, you don’t want to look like you’re vain by posting 20 pics.
  8. If you’re lazy. If you let her initiate contact most of the time, what message are you sending? You’re basically telling her that you’re either lazy or you’re not really that interested in her. Remember: actions speak louder than words, so if your communication has been great, go on and ask her out on a real date. Don’t waste the time talking.
  9. How prompt you are. When you match with someone on the app, do you quickly send them a message or wait days to do it? Once you’ve started chatting privately, do you respond to messages within a decent amount of time or not? Women will be checking how reliable and consistent you are because it speaks volumes about whether or not you’re going to make good boyfriend potential.
  10. Your online behavior. If you can tell when someone’s online on the dating app, be very careful. You want to be sure that you’re not giving her reason to believe that you’re a bad match. For example, if you’re always online but never chatting to her, she’s going to think you’ve lost interest. So don’t be sloppy. Be aware of your online status and make sure it doesn’t ruin your chances of getting a date. For example, if you tell her you’re going to bed but then you’re online and she is too, probably wondering why you had to lie to her, it’s not a good start.