Dating

10 Things You Need To Ask A Girl Before Having Sex With Her

When it comes to having sex with someone new, open communication is always the best shortcut to a positive experience. If you’re wanting to have amazing sex and skip all the awkwardness that can arise with a new partner, here are a few things you should ask her first.

  1. What kind of relationship she’s looking for. Even if it’s your first date, you should both be on the same page about what you want. There is no shame in wanting something serious or in wanting a one night stand. The only reason to feel guilty is if the other person misunderstands your intentions. You’ll save each other a lot of discomfort and time if you’re straight with each other from the start.
  2. If she’s on birth control. As a guy, you should always be prepared with condoms, but as we all learned in sex ed, condoms are only 85% effective when it comes to preventing pregnancy. Asking a girl if she’s on the pill or has an IUD or uses another form of birth control apart from the condom you’re about to use will set both of you at ease and make the experience a lot more enjoyable.
  3. What she likes. Most women are very enthusiastic about telling guys what they want in bed, but if it’s your first time together, they might be a little reluctant to. Some guys get really defensive and think they’re being criticized when a woman asks for what she wants, so just avoid the discomfort altogether and ask.
  4. When the last time was that she got tested. This might not be the most romantic thing you could ask someone you’re about to have sex with, but it is necessary. It’s so easy for people to make assumptions and get caught up in the moment, and the consequences can be pretty serious. You owe it to each other to be open about your sexual health before you have sex. It could save you a lot of unpleasantness later.
  5. Whether or not she actually wants to have sex. This may seem obvious, but honestly, it’s a pretty important question. Sometimes you can just get pulled into it when you don’t really feel like having it, and being asked directly makes it a lot easier to vocalize what you need, whether it’s sex right now immediately or not at all. Having sex with someone who’s ambivalent about it isn’t going to be much fun for either of you.
  6. If she’s single. There’s nothing worse than having a great date with someone and then going home and having awesome sex, only to find out in the morning that they’re actually not available. Open relationships are more socially accepted and common than ever before, and it’s actually not that crazy to ask someone you’re on a date with if they’re single. More communication is always the best way to go.
  7. If the temperature is okay. One of the most underrated factors to having great sex is the temperature of the room. It dictates so much about our level of comfort and our body’s ability to loosen up and be engaged with another person’s body. In fact, there’s a study that shows that people who wear socks during sex are better in bed simply because their added warmth creates better blood flow and therefore incredible orgasms.
  8. What she wants you to call her. Not every girl likes being called “baby” in bed by a guy they haven’t known very long, just like some women get freaked out when you call them by their name during sex or guys panic when a woman calls them “daddy.” You just can’t be sure until you ask, and you’ll be preventing an uncomfortable moment during sex when you call her something that turns her off. This question could even be asked during foreplay as a way to get both of you in the mood. Make it sexy.
  9. If there’s anywhere in particular that she likes to be touched. Everyone’s body is different, and while there’s nothing better than spending months and even years exploring your partner’s body to figure out what really turns them on, simply asking outright can be a nice shortcut for the immediate future. Chances are she’ll teach you some new things too, which might just up your sex game by a few hundred percent.
  10. Whether she wants to stay the night (or if she wants you to stay the night if you’re at her place).¬†There’s nothing more awkward than having sex with someone you’re relatively new to, and then having to figure out if they want to spend the night together. It’s almost impossible to make this transition gracefully after sex because it usually ends up seeming like a verdict on the quality of your experience. Figuring out the logistics first will always make the situation better, and it might even make the sex better since you’ll both feel a little relieved that you won’t have to deal with the question later.