As time goes on, we all get a little rusty on recalling how to show a girl that you like her. So, perhaps with all the hullabaloo surrounding the moronic behavior of far too many men in Hollywood (and in other industries too), perhaps it’s time to take a look at ways to show a woman that you really like her. Here’s a hint, it’s not showing up at the door in a loose-fitting bathrobe or pleasuring yourself in front of her without her consent.
- Listen to her. Yeah, maybe that seems like it doesn’t need to be said, but I know from personal experience that it does. Don’t just listen to her and in your head recite the lyrics to “The Devil Went Down to Georgia”—she’ll pick up on your absence. It’s not called “women’s intuition” for nothing. Be present and be engaged when she’s talking to you. She may not be revealing life’s secrets, but that doesn’t matter—pay attention!
- Look her in the eyes. Building on that whole “listen to her” thing, look her in the eye. However, don’t do it in a creepy way; it’s okay if your eyes wander a little. Frankly, it would be abnormal (and creepy) if they didn’t. Always remember that her eyes are approximately 12-15” away from her chest. And for God’s sake, don’t look at other women.
- Be definitive and have a plan. If you’re going out to dinner, ask her what type of food she likes, do a little research, and then plan it. Show her that you’re a man of action and you’ve taken care of it. This is one of those little dance steps we do in the courting process. As I’m sure you know by now, if you enter a relationship with this woman, there will come a time when she’ll have complete veto power on dinner choices (except on your birthday), so enjoy this luxury while you can. Oh, and have a tentative plan for after dinner. It may not happen, but you should be optimistic and prepared in the event that it does.
- Know when to act. So, you’re actively listening and looking her in the eyes and she’s telling you a story about a situation for which the solution to you is obvious, so you tell her. Don’t do that! Listen, we’re wired to fix things, I understand. If we’re into someone, we’re going to want to fix their problems or issues. It’s what we do. Slow your roll on that one, though, hombre. This early on, she’s more than likely just sharing with you and not really looking for you to help her out.
- Show her some R-E-S-P-E-C-T. You don’t need to bow down or wash her feet, but a little respect goes a long way. She’s a living breathing person and, as such, more than likely worthy of your respect. Whether she’s a Vice President at a fortune 500 company or a cashier at the local grocery store, be sure to give her her propers.
- Give her a compliment. I suppose it should go without saying that you should mean the compliment. If she looks great, let her know. If she smells great, tell her. The ROI (return on investment) with compliments can make the difference between a mediocre date and a great one (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). In the long run, compliments pay huge dividends. Now, conversely, if she wears her make-up like a clown, it’s best to use your inside dialogue on that one. I was dating a girl once who was not very good at putting on makeup and when she showed up to my place for dinner, I asked her how she got a black eye. Yea, that was a mistake.
- Don’t brag, be humble. It’s more than okay to talk about yourself, but it should be a dialogue within the context of a conversation and never be all about you. Make it about her as much as you can without appearing like you’re kissing her ass. No, you don’t need to hide your achievements, but maybe keep the story about that summer you spent in France doing absolutely nothing under wraps a while longer.
- Don’t rush her. If your end game is to get her into bed, let it move at her pace. Sure, flirt and touch her, but keep the touching non-creepy and no grabbing. If she’s there at dinner with you, she’s already intrigued so there’s no need to get aggressive. Here’s another situation where the ROI on not rushing her will yield big dividends. However, it’s important to pay attention and know when (and how) to act. You don’t want to appear desperate because women can smell that … and they don’t like it. Slow and steady wins the race, brother.
- Pick up the check. Early on, I can’t suggest this enough. Yes, I know, that’s not the way of the world these days; there’s nothing wrong about kicking it old school. Now, don’t awkwardly sit there and wait for her to make a move; be definitive and pick it up. If she fights you for it, let her try two or three times and then bend and say something like, “Well, you can get dessert (or drinks or whatever).” The reality is if she fights you for the check, it could mean any number of things and whatever those things are do not need to be discussed so early in the dating dance. They’ll surface and when they do THEN you can start splitting the check.
- Be yourself. Really, is there any other way to date these days? You’re always one Google search away from exposure, so there’s literally no sense in pretending to be someone or something you’re not. Besides, who really has the time for that sort of foolishness anyway?
Have fun. If you really like her, this should be the easiest of them all! Let her see your playful side and enjoy each other. Life’s much too short to spend time with someone you don’t have fun with.