Dating

10 Ways You Can Tell She Has Her Act Together From The Very First Date

You’re definitely not the only person who’s tired of indecisiveness and immaturity floating around in the dating pool. If you want to know right from the start if your date can help you achieve the balanced, mature relationship you’ve been craving, here’s how you can tell she’s a grown woman inside and out.

  1. She tells you what kind of relationship she’s looking for. A woman isn’t more or less put-together because she wants a casual or serious relationship, but it’s a mark of maturity if she can be upfront about what she wants. If she abandons all pretense and is clear from the start on whether she’s looking for something real or just a sexual fling, you’ll know that you never have to question what’s going through her mind.
  2. She offers to pay her way. Even if you’re set on paying for everything on the first date, it’s a good sign if the woman you’re out with offers to cover her portion of the bill. Not only does it suggest that she’s financially secure and independent, but it also shows that she sees both of you as equals.
  3. She shows up slightly early. On time is good, but five minutes early is better. A woman who shows up just a bit early clearly knows how to plan out her time and respects yours. Should an unexpected delay — such as bad traffic — cause her to run a bit late, she’ll be courteous enough to call or text you instead of just showing up fifteen minutes after your scheduled meet time with a half-hearted apology.
  4. She asks you questions, but can also easily talk about herself. Balancing talking and listening time is basically an art form, but a woman who’s got her life together will have it mostly mastered. She’ll be confident enough to know that what she has to say is important, but also want to learn more about you. Consider it a good sign if she seems to find it easy to ask you questions about yourself and give thoughtful responses to what you ask her.
  5. She’s not afraid to disagree with you. Society, unfortunately, teaches women not to “rock the boat,” especially on a first date. But a woman who has her sh*t together has enough self-confidence that society’s opinions don’t carry a lot of weight in her mind. If you express an opinion, she won’t agree with it just for the sake of keeping the peace — she’ll speak up and give her own thoughts whether or not they coincide with yours.
  6. She treats the employees with respect. It’s no secret that insecure people often bring others down to feel good about themselves, and unfortunately, workers in the service industry are often the target of that rude behavior. If the woman you’re on a date with is happy with herself and is an overall decent human being, though, she’ll treat the employees at your date location with the kindness and respect they deserve.
  7. She doesn’t bring up her exes. Unless you specifically ask her about an ex, your date won’t bring up people she’s dated in the past if she’s really happy with where she is in life. Not only will she know that it’s a huge first-date faux pas to talk about exes, but she’ll also have been mature enough to put that part of her life behind her before giving love a shot with someone new.
  8. She’s dressed appropriately for the activity. The length of a woman’s skirt or how much cleavage she’s showing has no bearing on how much you should respect her, but if she’s wearing a sexy dress and heels to play laser tag for your first date… well, she’s either confused, or her priorities might be a bit mixed up. Knowing how to dress for an occasion is a big part of being a true adult, and just as you wouldn’t wear basketball shorts and an old t-shirt to a nice restaurant, your date should also seem like she put thought into how her outfit would coincide with your date activity.
  9. She’s not afraid to take the lead. If your date has her stuff together, it didn’t happen by accident. She knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to go for it. Take note if she makes suggestions about what to do or where to go on your date rather than having you make all the decisions — it’s a sign that she’s definitely a keeper.
  10. After the date is over, she’s upfront about what she wants next. Whether she felt a connection right off the bat, or she needs a few days to decide whether or not she wants to see you again, an emotionally mature woman will give it to you straight. She’s not going to waste her time or yours tiptoeing around your feelings by ghosting you or delaying your next potential meetup if she’s not interested. Instead, she’ll tell you in no uncertain terms if she’d like a second date or if you’d both be better off with someone else.