Dating

12 Things You Think Are Charming That Are Actually Creepy

You want to show her you like her, but make sure you’re not creeping her out. Confused as to how charming her can be creepy? Here’s a rundown of 12 things that aren’t romantic at all and instead are probably making her feel really uncomfortable.

  1. Stroking her shoulder (or any part of her, for that matter). If you’re doing this when you haven’t even been dating her for a long time and she hasn’t expressed wanting you to touch her, please don’t do this. Also, what’s with all that weird stroking like your fingers are feathers and you’re trying to turn her on? Ugh.
  2. Staring at her intensely. Good eye-contact shouldn’t make her feel like she’s pinned up against the wall. Give her some room to breathe! Trying sexy bedroom eyes only works if the mood is right and you’re alone. Otherwise, you risk looking like a serial killer.
  3. Telling her you’re in demand. You think it’s charming to tell her that she has your attention when there are loads of other women you could be dating? Um, no. That just makes you seem like you’ve got an ego the size of Texas.
  4. Giving her too many compliments. You tell her she’s beautiful, she’s got great dress sense, she’s intelligent, and so on. Whoa, slow down! Flattering her too much feels awkward and like you’re trying too hard to get her to like you. A genuine compliment peppered here and there is welcome, but laying it on too thick will only backfire.
  5. Complimenting her on her insecurities. If she’s mentioned in the past that she doesn’t like her hair and the first thing you say when you see her arrive for your first date is that her hair is stunning, she’s not going to be flattered. She’s going to wonder why you have to try so damn hard to be charming. It just seems so fake.
  6. Walking her to her car when she says she’s okay. Acting like you need to protect her won’t fly if she actually doesn’t want you to give her that sort of attention. Plus, it’s really uncomfortable for her to have to open her car door then say goodbye before wondering if you’re just walking her to her car to try to kiss her. It can make the end of the date feel awkward.
  7. Trying to help her when she’s made it clear she doesn’t need it. Her handbag looks really heavy, so you offer to carry it for her. She politely declines, and you basically take charge by taking it from her. This isn’t romantic or chivalrous at all – it’s actually quite disrespectful. If she doesn’t want your help, respect her enough to be okay with that.
  8. Bringing her lingerie on the first date. You might think it’s a sexy, naughty gift that she’ll appreciate because you’ve been flirting with each other via text for days, but it just comes across as sleazy. You should know her well enough before you buy her such an intimate gift.
  9. Adding her on Facebook after your first date. You don’t even know if the date went well for her, but you’re already adding her on Facebook. Ugh. Too much too soon! Instead of showing her that you really like her, it’s making her think you’re just pushing your way into her life. Not cool.
  10. Sending her a goodnight message after your first date. Sending her a message to tell her that you had a great time and want to see her again? Wonderful. Sending her a text in which you tell her to have sweet dreams or sleep well just comes across as creepy. Save that for when you’re in a long-term relationship.
  11. Insisting that you’re paying for the first date. You suggest paying for the first date but she wants to go Dutch. You insist that you’re paying for dinner or coffee, and that’s the end of it. You really don’t have to try to be the man in this situation because it’s not attractive. Plus, she might feel like you’re trying to buy her love or something.
  12. Feeding her. When the dessert comes, you start feeding her. Ugh, just don’t! It’s not romantic. It makes her feel put on the spot and like she’s a toddler who needs to be fed. She’s a grown woman who can feed herself. A spin on this creepy dating behavior is if you go ahead and order food or drinks on her behalf. That’s just going to make her feel like you’re way too controlling.