Dating isn’t an easy sport. Women are hard to understand and just as hard to please. Some men have good looks, outgoing personalities, or are just plain lucky when it comes to attracting women. For others, it’s hard to open up or they’re too shy to approach a woman when they’re interested. If the latter sounds like you, here are some tips.
- Pick an activity you enjoy. Sitting across the table from a woman you like but don’t know may be one of the hardest things for you. Why not choose an activity you’ll enjoy like go-karting, visiting a museum, or going on a walk in the park? Choose something that will keep you busy. Taking part in a fun activity will also give you and your date something to talk about and reduce the risk of quick boredom.
- Choose a short date. Ever heard the expression, the shorter the better? This is one of the best applications of that phrase. Being an introvert gets hard, especially if you think about having to entertain someone for more than an hour or two. Instead of picking out a date that’ll take the whole day, make it short and sweet—not too short that your date will think you didn’t want her and not too long that she’ll be bored of you. It’ll be far much easier to plan a short date that may extend than to plan a long date and end up disappointing one another and yourself.
- Rely on your social friends. You may be an introvert, but surely you have a couple of extroverted friends. Take advantage of the social abilities and ask them to help you ‘socialize’ with the woman you have your eyes set on. However, not all our friends may want to be of service, so ensure you pick out the ones that will uplift you from your current state of introversion. Go out with them on a Friday night and really try to loosen up around a crowd that won’t judge you.
- Practice always makes perfect. You practice for a job interview, don’t you? Why not do the same when preparing for that nerve-wracking date? Find a friend who you’re comfortable with and practice on them. Ask them the questions you intend to ask on your date and even initiate the kind of small talk you’d like to have as a way to warm up. If you don’t feel confident enough to do it with a friend, try it in front of the mirror every day as the date draws nearer. By the time you’re going on a date, you’ll find yourself having more confidence than you had before, and this will give you a sense of encouragement while out.
- Don’t take drastic measures. Do you want to buy a new outfit or a new pair of shoes for the date? Do it. However, don’t go beyond your comfort zone. It’s important to realize that while you want to impress the woman you’re going out with, if you’re not comfortable, she won’t be either. Don’t get a new haircut either; it’ll throw you off. You’ll spend the whole date feeling self-conscious and too focused on yourself and how you look. It’ll make it seem as if you’re not interested in her.
- Go to a familiar venue. It’s understandable to want to impress your date, but don’t let this need overrun you and drive you into picking a venue that doesn’t meet your levels of comfort. If it’s the first date, make it simple. You can go to your usual café or a restaurant that you already know. In this way, you’ll be familiar with the menu and the layout of the place. You’ll know the environment and this will allow you to focus on your date.
- Don’t be ashamed of your introversion. If this is the first date, you may need to buck up a little bit and show a hint of extroversion. However, if the first date turns into a second, it may be time to let the cat out of the bag and make your date aware of your introversion. You don’t need to say it bluntly, but as you explain yourself, don’t shy away from mentioning that you kinda prefer to chill alone or one-on-one rather than being in a crowded social setting.
- Pose open-ended questions. Conversation is an undeniably central part of a date. If you’re entertaining a woman for the first time and the conversation seems to be getting a little dry, ask certain the questions. Don’t ask “yes” or “no” queries that will quickly kill the small talk. Ask what her hobbies are or what she likes best about her job. Doing this will show her that you’re interested in her and she’ll hopefully see it as a cue to open up to you. Just don’t make it an interrogation. Play it cool and you’ll be fine.