Words matter, and it’s something to bear in mind when it comes to asking a woman out online. You don’t have body language and facial expressions to help you along, so the words you choose to use carry a lot of weight. Make them count by avoiding these phrases when asking her out on a date.
- “Maybe” Don’t say, “Maybe we can catch a movie sometime” or “Maybe we can get dinner.” This doesn’t tell her anything, really. It certainly doesn’t make it clear that you’d like to meet her in real life, preferably this weekend. If you’re going to ask her out, be brave enough to phrase your question clearly and specifically, such as by saying, “How about we catch a movie Saturday?” Show her you’re really interested in going on a date, not just throwing an idea out there.
- “It doesn’t have to be a date.” Well, okay. Now that you’ve mentioned that, she might realize that you’re right: it’s better not to call this a date. So then what, you’re just hanging out together as friends? That’s a lukewarm attempt to getting her on a date with you. If you like her, ask her out without trying to give her an exit. It looks really insecure if you do that.
- “Hang out” Don’t say you’d like to hang out with her—that immediately tells her that you’re not looking for anything serious and would prefer casual dating. If she’s looking for a real relationship, this will put her off. Remember, hanging out is not a date! Although you might be afraid to use the word “date”, it will mean much more. It shows her what your intentions are, which is great for her to know before a real-life date.
- “You seem like a nice enough person…” What? If you’re going to give her reasons why you’d like to take her out on a date, at least come up with something better than “nice enough.” That’s not a compliment at all! Geez. You might as well be talking about a refrigerator or second-hand lawnmower.
- “Sure, whatevs.” She agrees to the date and then suggests a time or place. Instead of saying you’re looking forward to meeting up with her, you say something like, “Sure, whatevs.” This really comes across as lazy—same goes for answering with one letter like “k” instead of “okay.” Put in some effort! If you can’t impress her via text, how will you impress her in person? You also don’t want to give her the impression that you’re just going with the flow instead of having a real interest in her.
- Emoji Phrases Phrases that are peppered with the use of emojis can be really irritating. If you’re asking her out to a Chinese restaurant, don’t put a picture of noodles, and if you’re asking her out for drinks, don’t send her beer emojis. For the love of God, ask her out with words! Making her guess what you’re trying to say is childish, not romantic.
- “I’ll let you know” Don’t tell her you’ll let her know if you’re available Saturday night or at the time she suggested. That seems like you’re not warm to the idea of meeting at all! Instead, make a set plan in the same text chat as when you suggest going out with her. That way, it’s a concrete plan that shows her you mean business instead of leaving her hanging around waiting for you to make up your mind.
- “Get to know you” If you say you’d love to get to know her, it might seem okay, but she might wonder what you mean. Do you mean you’d love to chat more to learn more about her, or you’d like to get to know her in a more intimate way? Since it can cause her to wonder where your head is at, just avoid the vagueness of this phrase. Instead, say that you’d love to get to know each other by talking over coffee or a meal rather than via text. Add that you’ve had a great time chatting so far—a compliment is always nice to hear and will show her that your interest is real. Without that feeling, she’s not going to be excited to meet you, which totally defeats the whole purpose.