Some women are all about giving their boyfriends head, while others run screaming from the room at the thought. Admittedly, I was initially hesitant about the act for various reasons I’ll get into below, but I’ve since come to enjoy it a whole heck of a lot. If your girlfriend or wife isn’t into giving oral, use my tried-and-true tips to encourage willingness.
- Shave, trim, and keep it tidy. If your most of your shaft is hidden by a tangled mass of pubes, do you really think your partner is going to go down on you? If she does, she’s likely to floss her teeth unintentionally in one of the worst ways possible. Spare her this with diligent manscaping. Whether you shave or wax, your junk will look bigger. Isn’t that what every man wants? My first boyfriend never shaved, and let’s just say performing oral was not my favorite thing on the sex menu.
- Give your bits a good washing. In addition to shaving down there, it’s essential that you wash down there. You expect her to smell nice for you, so return the favor and wash with your favorite-smelling manly soap before you get busy. The odor of unwashed junk is something no woman should have to experience when she’s going to down on her guy. Again, this is something I dealt with (again with the same frickin’ boyfriend) and I nearly gagged a few times.
- Don’t push her head down. For the love of everything good and pure, and for the love of everything not-so-pure, don’t push her head down when you want a blowjob. Repeat: do not push her head down. I have never heard one woman say she appreciates this, but I have heard plenty say how annoying, presumptuous, and rude it is. She knows you want oral sex—as one of my good guy friends once said, “There isn’t a red-blooded man alive who doesn’t like getting his d*ck sucked.” So just let her come to the decision to put your junk in her mouth on her own, and if she never wants to do it, talk to her about it. Specifically, talk to her about it when you aren’t about to have sex.
- Be sure to reciprocate. If you never go down on her, why in God’s name is going to to go down on you? Give her the attention down there she deserves—she’s going to love that you are so concerned with her satisfaction and likely be more than willing to do the same to you. After all, if you’re eating her out on a continual basis and she never puts her face near your junk, well, that’s just bad form.
- Try different positions. Once upon a time, I thought I didn’t like giving blowjobs. Then I realized it wasn’t so much the act but the position. I didn’t like the idea of the guy watching my head bob up and down (something I’ve since gotten over), so I switched positions. If she’s straddling your face, for example, you aren’t going to be watching her head for about 10 obvious reasons. If she’s shy in this way, suggest other positions—and enjoy the results.
- Stay vocal. If you guys aren’t telling each other what feels amazing and what doesn’t, what type of sex life are you really going to have? Rather than feeling unsatisfied all the darn time, be vocal. If she’s giving you head, moan a lot as encouragement and focus on what she does exceptionally well. She wants the feedback and will probably get much more into it. After all, who isn’t into it when the partner is going crazy with desire and pleasure and all that good stuff?
- Emphasize the control and power aspect. Some women mistakenly believe going down on a dude is a submissive and demoralizing act. Hardly. She has your most important and sensitive appendage in her mouth—you know, where her teeth are. When she is sucking you off, she has complete control of the situation. Stress this aspect to her—that you’re totally under her power during oral sex. She might find this extremely titillating.
- Congratulate her on a job well down, er, done. If you aren’t super happy every time you get a blowjob, why is she going to bother? Let her know what a great job she did, pun intended, and how much you appreciate her skills. If she’s the best you have ever had, tell her and don’t be afraid to go into detail. The more you tell her how awesome she is at blowjobs, the happier she will be to go downtown. If she thinks you barely care, where is the incentive? Give her a reason—a very enthusiastic reason.