When a woman first cries in front of the man she’s dating, it’s a huge milestone for her. Hey, it’s not easy to be vulnerable and show your fragile side to someone. While she’s wiping away her tears, you can be sure that she’ll also be checking to see how you handle the situation. Here are 8 important ways to deal with her tears that will show her you’re great boyfriend material.
- Don’t try to fix the situation. Your knee-jerk reaction might be to stop those tears from falling. If she’s crying about something that happened at work, you might want to fire off some solutions to her problems. You might say, “You have to speak to your boss about how he takes advantage of you” or “You have to tell Janet in HR that she’s being so unfair on you!” Yeah, you mean well, but giving her unsolicited advice is a no-no. Honestly, the best thing you can do is just let her cry.
- Don’t stand in the corner. Letting her cry doesn’t mean that you should stand at the door and stare at her with a slightly panicky look in your eye. Go over to her and comfort her!
- Give her a hug. Avoid that awkward back or shoulder pat that will just make her feel ashamed for crying in front of you. What is that? It’s like you’re afraid to touch her or something! The best thing you can do is give her a big, tight hug. It will make her feel comforted. You don’t even have to say anything because it will feel so good to her.
- In fact, it’s probably best not to say anything. Asking her what’s wrong or telling her not to cry can make her feel worse. Plus, it’s really hard to speak when you’re bawling. So, don’t be afraid to be silent for a while. Give her a chance to dry her tears.
- Don’t say it’ll be okay. You want her to feel better, but telling her generic things like “it’ll be okay” or “don’t worry” or “everything will turn out fine” will probably just make her feel worse. The truth is, you don’t know if the situation will work out, especially if she’s been so consumed with crying that she hasn’t had a real chance to talk to you about what she’s crying about! Saying those words will therefore just make her feel that you’re trying to get rid of her tears and rush out of the uncomfortable situation. That’s not very reassuring to her.
- Just listen. Now that her tears are under control, she might want to express what caused her to burst out in tears. She might be really moved by something in a good way, or be mad AF. If it’s the latter, she might be angry at you or someone that upset her. Just let her have her say. If she’s angry at you, don’t jump in and try to explain yourself or mumble apologies – and definitely don’t tell her to “get over it” unless you want to see her wrath. Sit down and let her express herself. She’ll value that so much more because listening wholeheartedly is such an important show of support.
- Do something kind. You’ve given her a hug, which is great. But there’s more you can do to help her feel better and show her your support – ultimately, that’s what matters. So, you could make her a cup of tea and direct her to a comfy seat on the sofa with a warm blanket, for example. It’s these small actions of love that show her you really care about comforting her.
- Be careful with humor. You might feel really awkward and uncomfortable about seeing her cry that you just want to make her better. Instead of trying to help her fix the situation, you might think that making her laugh will help the sun come out again. Um, not necessarily. She doesn’t want a clown in the room, but a supportive boyfriend, so hold off on the various jokes you’re tempted to crack. That said, a light joke might be just what she needs after a crying session. The key is to read her for clues. If she seems to be better after crying and she’s making light comments herself, then go ahead. But be warned, making a joke that she’s on her period is never okay. It’s just sexist and insulting. Don’t go there.