Sometimes when we have crushes, we act on them right away and resolve them for better or for worse quickly and efficiently. Other times, we push our feelings down for way too long and let them slowly torture us until we can gather the courage to make a move. Sometimes it pays off in the end, but not always.
I decided to ask nine of my friends who had longtime crushes on the people they’re now dating how they finally managed to “get the girl” (or the guy, in a few cases). Maybe their advice will help you finally lasso the person of your dreams, or maybe their stories will just be funny as hell.
- “Honestly, I forgot about her for a while. I asked her out a few times and she hedged, and I figured it would be pretty weird / creepy to keep asking her out over and over again. We were in the same friend group so we still saw each other from time to time, and after taking a step back (I stopped texting her for a while), she seemed to slowly become interested in me on her own. Eventually I asked her out ‘as friends’ and things snowballed from there.” — Mike, 33
- “I took the first chance I could to ask her out. I was into this girl for almost a year, but she was in a relationship. When she broke up with her boyfriend, a lot of my friends thought it would be crass for me to swipe in for the rebound right away, but I went for it, and we had a few really fun dates and decided to become GF/BF. I talked to her a few months after dating and she admits that she had a few other dates in the week that I asked her out, so I am glad that I didn’t wait and put myself out there when I had the chance.” — Perry, 30
- “Well, as it turns out, it was actually a long-time crush only because of me. I was into him for like several months, and as it turns out, he was into me for almost the same exact amount of time. I just didn’t have the guts to do anything about it. I drunkenly confessed that I thought he was hot at a party, we made out, and have been together ever since!” — Adrian, 25
- “I took her out on a dream date. She was a little uncertain about dating me because we were already friends and didn’t want to mess up the friendship. We talked a lot about how we both had feelings for each other, but she always shut down the conversation, citing our friendship. I was about to move on when I proposed a compromise: we go on one date, and if it didn’t go well we never talk about dating again. She agreed and I planned the date with everything she liked. We went to he favorite restaurant, came back to my place, and watched a movie she enjoyed and drank organic gluten-free beers (she can’t have gluten). Apparently, that won her over! Hooray for gluten free beer haha?” — Mateo, 38
- “I got drunk and finally sent her a message. We had met briefly a while back and I added her on Facebook but didn’t do anything else. A little bit later I was sharing a bottle of wine with myself and decided to just give it a shot and send her a message. Surprisingly, she replied and we got drinks a few days later.” — Rick, 31
- “I was mostly just myself and acted naturally. I knew I had a crush on her almost immediately after we started fall term classes. I tried to sit next to her and start conversation whenever appropriate. I think I’m pretty funny, so I told a lot of jokes (you basically HAD to tell jokes to get through that awful class) and eventually asked if she wanted to hang out outside of class. At first it was under the guise of studying for an exam, but eventually it was a more overt date. Basically, be bold people! You’ll never know what could happen unless you try.” — Brad, 24
- “I relied a lot on humor. I’m not a model by any stretch of the imagination, so I can’t just coast by on my looks. I had a crush on this girl and made a big effort of making her laugh. Luckily, we both have similar sense of humor (very dry and sarcastic) so it wasn’t that hard at all. Eventually I asked her if she wanted to go on a date (probably three months after we met) and she said yes. We aren’t together anymore, but it was a good relationship for almost a year.” — Chad, 27
- “I kept asking her until she said yes. In retrospect, my approach might’ve been a little creepy but I guess it worked out in the end! We’d dated once a while before, but a few years later I fell for her again. I brought it up to her and she seemed antsy about the whole topic and wanted to stay friends. But I asked to talk about it again. She reluctantly agreed, and then we decided to go on a date to trial it out. I guess things went okay because now we’re living together in a whole new city!” — Jed, 34
- “I invited her to my baptism. So, this is kinda a weird story but I was getting re-baptized senior year of high school. She had brushed off other attempts I had made to try to hang out, but I guess she felt too guilty to turn down my baptism! We got ice cream afterwards and things just went from there.” — Tim, 18