Some men shy away from women who aren’t afraid to argue or speak their mind, but if you’re one of them, you could be doing yourself and your dating life a huge disservice. Here’s why you should stop looking for more passive women and start pursuing a partner who pushes you to be your best self:
- She’ll introduce the right kind of conflict to your relationship. It’s not that it’s good to fight in a relationship — it’s just that every relationship is going to have conflict, and it’s much better to have a partner who picks her fights the right way. A woman who challenges you won’t blow up on you for watching too much TV, but she’ll hold you accountable for a consistent pattern of poor time management skills. She’ll go for the root of your problems rather than the symptoms, and you’ll be surprised at how much your life improves as a result.
- You’ll have a more balanced relationship. Knowing that your significant other is never going to push back when you’re not being your best self might seem great in theory, but in practice, it doesn’t make for a healthy relationship. Your partner should feel comfortable sticking up for herself and calling you out on your crap. While it may annoy you if you’re not used to it, you’ll begin to appreciate it as time goes on.
- She’ll make you aware of things you need to work on. It’s easy to go through life completely unaware of our greatest personality flaws. When you’re dating a woman who challenges you, though, that destructive luxury will quickly disappear. It’s not that she’ll want to change the foundation of who you are — she’ll just point out the things that are holding you back from realizing your full potential. It may be an uncomfortable wakeup call at first, but you’ll only benefit in the long run.
- She’ll push you to improve without nagging you. There’s a common misconception that “nagging” and “challenging” are the same thing, and it’s simply not true. The right woman for you won’t nitpick to try to shape you into her paint-by-number idea of a partner; she’ll give you the resistance you need to keep you from being content with mediocrity. You shouldn’t feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells, but there may be multiple times you feel like she’s woken you up by dumping ice water on your face.
- She’ll never let you get complacent. This type of woman knows that complacency kills excellence. She may have high standards in a man, but really, shouldn’t you have high standards for yourself? She won’t fix all your problems for you, but she’ll make you want to be the type of guy who constantly pushes himself to be better as a worker, a friend, a significant other, and a human being. If she feels like you’re not acting like the man you’re capable of being, she’ll let you know, and she’ll expect you to shape up if you want to keep her around.
- She’ll make you question yourself. The thoughts and opinions you’ve held for ages are going to be challenged if you date a woman who pushes you. It’s not that she’ll expect you to change them — she’ll simply make you consider if you’ve done the work and research necessary to back up your beliefs with education.
- She’ll expect you to challenge her as well. A woman who challenges you doesn’t do so for the sake of being pushy; she does it because she recognizes the importance of always striving to be better. She’ll be looking for a partner that helps her realize her full potential as well, and although your relationship might have a bit more conflict because of it, it’ll also be stronger.
- She’ll hold everything and everyone else in her life to the same standards. Her way of expecting the best from you won’t be unique to your relationship. The longer you’re with her, the more you’ll realize that she expects the same level of excellence from her friends, her work, and every other aspect of her life. While some may criticize her for her so-called “perfectionism,” you’ll start to see how her personality enables her to achieve better results in her career and hobbies while surrounding herself with really great people.
- She’ll help you become a better man. Whether your relationship lasts forever or only a short while, you’ll end up changing for the better. Although we should never rely on our partners to help us grow, it’s inevitable when you date someone who pushes back on your flaws and encourages your improvement. Dating a woman who challenges you won’t create the easiest relationship you’ve ever had, but it may very well be the most beneficial.