Dating

9 Things She’s Definitely Telling Her Friends About Your Performance In Bed

Whether it’s right or it’s wrong, women do talk about their sexual experiences, and often with more detail than you might expect. It doesn’t matter if you’re a one-time hookup, a friend with benefits or a long-term partner—the woman you slept with has definitely told her friends about these things:

  1. How generous you are. This is the most important factor of a sexual experience for most women. If a guy is selfish in bed, her girlfriends are going to know about it immediately (and, yes, probably roast you for it in the group chat). On the flip side, if you make her pleasure a priority, she’s going to fangirl over you pretty hard. Women deal with a lot of selfishness in the sack, and the effort you put in will determine whether you stand out from the rest or are just more of the same.
  2. How you taste. This is another quality that’s usually either really good or really bad, so either way, it provides a juicy (no pun intended) conversation topic when her friends ask about you. If she can tell you’ve been on a high-pineapple diet, her whole squad is going to praise the high heavens for blessing her with a great blowjob experience. If you taste like you’ve been subsisting on a strict diet of protein and expired milk, she’s going to need the emotional support of her gal pals to recover from the trauma.
  3. Your size. Ugh, yes, sorry. Size really doesn’t matter, per se, but it’s so ingrained into conversations about sex that her friends are going to ask about it anyway. The good news is that unless you fall far on one side or the other of the size spectrum, she’s probably not going to focus on it too much or portray it in a positive or negative light.
  4. How kinky you are. Did you open up a drawer full of whips and gags or did you start sweating when she asked if she could blindfold you? Whether you’re 10/10 freaky or as vanilla as the ice cream in her freezer, she’s going to give the details to her besties.
  5. What your room looks like. It may seem strange at first, but setting the scene is important. Going home with a guy who has a dirty mattress on the floor and three old fast food bags piled up in the corner is a horror story most women have either heard about or experienced, and they won’t hesitate to talk about it if your room resembles a pigsty. However, if your room looks like it belongs to a man who has his shit together and owns a vacuum, she’ll breathe a sigh of relief while telling her friends that she can rest easy knowing she didn’t leave your house covered in fleas.
  6. How long you lasted. Again, we know it’s not always fair, and we know a lot goes into a guy’s stamina in the bedroom, but that’s not going to stop us from revealing if you treated sex like a marathon or a sprint. Women like Goldilocks when it comes to the duration of sex, and whether it was too fast, too long, or just right, it’s a pretty basic detail that we feel obligated to include while recounting the event.
  7. How you treated her. Even if she doesn’t want candlelight and romantic music in the background, she’s going to take note of whether or not she felt respected and valued during your time together. Just because it was “only” a hookup doesn’t mean she’s going to be cool with being treated like a piece of meat. Regardless of whether or not there are strings attached when you two spend time together, she’s going to tell her friends if you treated her like a princess, an equal, or a living fleshlight.
  8. That weird thing you do. Sorry, but if you snort like a pig when you climax or tried to seductively finger her belly button during foreplay, that “secret” is absolutely not staying between the two of you. And honestly, can you blame her? Crazy sex stories are fun to tell regardless of whether you’re a man or a woman, so don’t take it personally if her friends give you a look that says they know all about how you asked her to spit in your eyeball.
  9. How much time you spent on foreplay. Women rarely get off on penetration alone, and most of us aren’t ready for intercourse the second our pants come off. Foreplay is a big deal for us, so the amount of time you spend making sure your partner is warmed up is going to be common knowledge among her friends.