So you met a cutie at the bar or a party, you’ve had some drinks, exchanged some laughs, and you’re both thinking it’s about to be a pretty great night and you should get out of there and head back to your place. A fun, mutual one-night hookup can be a great thing, but what happens when you wake up the next morning and realize that you actually really like this girl and think you might want to pursue something real with her?
- Just ask. Obviously, the first thing you should try is asking her if she’d like to hang out again. Make sure you get her phone number and maybe ask her if she’d like to have breakfast or brunch. It could be as simple as that. However, she may not be sure she wants anything more with you, so what do you do then?
- Backpedal to the wooing. She might feel weird about it because you’ve already hooked up. You can’t go back in time and make the hookup not happen, but it doesn’t have to ruin your chances of a committed relationship. You’ve already shown her that you’re physically and sexually attracted to her. Now it’s time to let her know that you’re attracted to her on a deeper, more personal level.
- Talk to her. Yes, just talk to her. Women love to be told or shown that you’re thinking about them, so start texting her on a regular basis. Ask her how her day at work is going, tell her about your day, take an interest in her everyday routine. If you really like this person, it won’t be hard to find things to talk about and if she’s starting to feel real things for you, it won’t be hard for her to respond every time.
- Take her on a real date. Plan something, wear a collared shirt, pick her up, the whole shebang. Take her somewhere where the two of you can really talk and get to know each other better, maybe dinner, a walk in the park, or something of that nature. The first couple of dates should be all about learning new things about each other and figuring out if the two of you are actually compatible. Ask her about her family, her friends, her career aspirations, her likes and dislikes, etc. You don’t have to get super deep too soon, but make it known that you want to actually know her.
- Remember the little things. Trust me, women are always on the lookout for guys who will remember the tiniest details about them or the things that they briefly mention. It’s not so much about having a great memory but more about showing her that you’re not only paying attention to what she says but that you’re putting importance on it. It won’t be a difficult task if you’re starting to develop true feelings for her because you’ll want to absorb as much information about her as you can.
- Avoid too much hooking up for a bit (this one’s subjective). This may not be the thing for every couple and it honestly might sound a little ridiculous considering it already happened. Still, it just might be a good idea to spend some time outside of the bedroom for at least a couple of weeks. Not only will this allow more time to really talk and learn more about each other, but it also lets her know that you aren’t just attracted to her on a surface level. On the other hand, it’s definitely possible to get to know someone while simultaneously having a great sex life, so go with whatever works for the two of you!
- Delete or at least log out of your dating apps. No, you don’t need to do away with those apps until you’ve mutually agreed to be exclusive with someone, but it’s hard to focus on one individual if you’re constantly scrolling and chatting away with other prospects even if it’s just out of pure curiosity. If you’re serious about trying to date this woman and be monogamous with her, it’s best to remove those other “options” at least until you know where the two of you stand so you can give her all of your undivided attention. Think about how you would feel if she was talking to other guys while you were trying to romance her. Not great. Trust me, she’ll appreciate if she’s the only one you have eyes for right now and it’ll let her know this isn’t just a game to you.
- Don’t pressure her to make a decision about you too quickly. It’s great if you know right off the bat that you want this girl to be your actual girlfriend and she might want that too, but sometimes it takes time for people to work out their feelings and decide what they want. Maybe she just got out of a serious relationship or maybe she’s just feeling unsure. As excited as you may be, be patient and respect if she needs to get to know you more before she’s ready to slap a label on your relationship. Just be open to casual dating at first and appreciate the fact that you’re able to spend time with someone you really like right now and leave it at that. Don’t stress about what may or may not happen in the future and enjoy the present moment. She’ll feel good about it and so will you in the long run.
- Just be genuine with her. Just be real. Be honest about who you are and show her not only in your words but in your actions that she’s not just another woman to you and that she’s special. Go out of your way to prove to her that she matters and put in the extra effort to win her over. It’s not that hard for two people to connect on a basic level and decide on a night of passions together, but deciding on something committed isn’t as simple and you’ll most likely have to work a little harder than you did that night at the bar to show this girl how you really feel. Trust me, if she’s who you think she is, it’ll be so worth it. Who knows? You could be soulmates.