If You’re Worried About These 10 Things On A Date, You’re Overthinking It

Dates can be a nightmare if you’re prone to feeling anxious about things, but most of the stuff you find yourself worrying about is totally irrelevant and serves only as a distraction from the date itself, which should be your focus. Here are a few things you definitely shouldn’t be thinking about on dates and why.

  1. Your hair. Hair really doesn’t matter on guys as much as it does on girls. This is probably a double standard that we should all question and feel bad about, but in this instance, just try to embrace it. Guys who pay a lot of attention to their hair and grooming in general are way less attractive than guys who are comfortable as they are. Don’t sweat it. As long as it’s not all over the place, she probably isn’t noticing it at all.
  2. What your voice sounds like. While there are no doubt some women who care about the pitch of a guy’s voice, it’s probably not the first thing any of them consider when determining whether or not they’re attracted to you. If you’re saying interesting things, they won’t even notice what you sound like.
  3. Whether or not your cologne/deodorant is too strong. When it comes to cologne and deodorant, the bottom line is that we’re glad you’re wearing it in the first place. Often, women have to deal with the plethora of dudes who go on body odor alone and don’t even bother trying to mask it. If you’re wearing some kind of smell enhancement, well done. She’s grateful for it. It’s a low bar, but it’s working in your favor.
  4. How long your story has been going on. If you find yourself worrying about how long you’ve been talking while you’re in the middle of a sentence, you need to chill. While it’s good to avoid being that person who talks constantly about himself and never asks his date any questions (apparently a lot of guys do this), insecurity is pretty unattractive too. When in doubt, just keep doing what you’re doing until you receive negative feedback.
  5. Whether or not your story is interesting enough. First dates are awkward, there’s no avoiding it. It’s impossible to get through one without experiencing moments of discomfort, but if you spin this completely natural experience into proof that you’re not interesting, you need to shut your brain off. Even if those suspicions are true, the only way to come out the other side with your dignity relatively intact is to soldier on ahead. Uncertainty is the most unflattering attitude.
  6. The placement of your hands. No one gives a shit where you’re hands are as long as they’re not doing anything to harm or offend anyone—hopefully this is obvious. Use your discretion, but not too much. If you’re sitting at a restaurant, keep them in your lap or aiding in the eating process. The more you think about them, the more obvious your discomfort will be.
  7. Whether or not she likes you. This is pretty irrelevant if you’re being yourself. If you’re doing your thing and she doesn’t like you, that’s no one’s fault. Not every first date can lead to a long-term partner, sex, or even a second date. If she doesn’t like you, get over it. Endure the evening and don’t take it personally. More likely, however, she’s just nervous too. That can sometimes come off as boredom or disappointment. She’s probably a lot more into you than you think.
  8. Thinking she’s judging you. Everyone is judging everyone at every point in every interaction. It’s human nature. You can’t control that fact, but you can control how you conduct yourself and therefore influence how you are judged. If you’re really anxious about how she’s perceiving you, it’s going to show. Fake confidence and she’ll fall for it every time.
  9. Whether or not she’s attracted to you. Whether you met in person or on a dating app, she agreed to the date. There must be some part of her that is attracted to you already. Sure, no one looks as good in real life as they do in their carefully curated photos, but no one expects an exact replica of your best profile pic either. She chose to go out with you. She’s clearly come into it with some level of attraction. Relax and let your best self shine through.
  10. If she’s dating other guys. In this dating app age, it’s pretty common for people to be going out with more than one person at time but this shouldn’t bother you on a first date. It’s her business. And depending on how the date goes, you might not even want to see her again anyway. If you do find yourself wanting something more, all you have to do is ask, but don’t start drowning in logistics the first time you meet her.