Dating

Don’t Spend Too Long Talking On A Dating App – She’ll Move On

You might think creating a connection with a woman on a dating app means you can relax and enjoy the conversation for as long as possible. Um, no. Although you shouldn’t rush her off the app because it looks like you’re desperate or just out for a fling, you shouldn’t waste time talking too long on there either. Here’s why.

  1. You look like you don’t care. A guy who’s really interested in someone they’ve “met” online will want to take things offline at some point, usually within a few days. If you’re talking all the time but you never hint at that, she’s going to think that you’re just not interested in her enough.
  2. You seem like you’re just passing the time. Some people use dating apps to chat to lots of women without wanting to meet them. Yeah, go figure. If you spend too long talking to her and only that, she’s going to think you’re one of them and she’ll nip her interest in the bud.
  3. You come off as unsure. If you like her, you’ll ask her out sooner rather than later. It’s simple. She’s not going to wait around for you to make up your mind, especially since there are so many other interested guys firing up her inbox.
  4. She’ll get turned off by your nonchalance.  Even the best matches who have lots to say to each other can end up bored AF. That’s because a dating app should really be a stepping stone to a real-life date. Linger there too long and you’re both going to exhaust all the talking and move on — with other people.
  5. She’ll think you just want to be friends.  Sometimes people find friends on dating apps instead of potential lovers. Those are the people with whom you can just be comfortable, chat to a lot, but without any pressure to date. Sure, it’s refreshing, but make sure you’re not giving those signals to someone you’d like to date. Cut to the chase instead of chatting about everything and never making a move. Show her that you want more than an internet friendship.
  6. She’ll start to wonder what you have to hide. If you’re always flirting and talking with her but not asking her out, she might wonder what’s really going on. Her mind could even go to darker places, such as that you already have a girlfriend or maybe a wife! It’s not such a long shot. According to a study published by Reality Mine, one in five dating app users are already in a relationship. Totally shady.
  7. Momentum is a big thing and you don’t want to lose it. Online dating is like lighting a match. You have that buildup and anticipation and then a spark. If you don’t use the match, it’s going to fizzle out. You can lose momentum on a dating app really quickly if you don’t make a move, which will make her move on because she’ll see that the excitement is over. You can’t come back to her weeks later and try to get the spark going again. Once it’s gone, it’s gone.
  8. Your connection means nothing if it’s not in real life.  It’s a sad but true fact: no matter how much she likes you on the dating app, your connection is never going to be as amazing as it could be in real life. If you’re not making a move to explore that RL connection, then you’re really selling both you and your match short and wasting an opportunity.
  9. You don’t want to be “that guy.” Don’t be that guy who talks to a woman for weeks but never makes concrete plans. Don’t be that guy who flirts with her but then always has an excuse for why he can’t get together in person. Don’t be that guy who wastes her time and effort only to keep her around with promises of chatting tomorrow. Talk is cheap! Show her you’re a real man who wants to make a connection with her and ask her out.
  10. You need to figure out your feelings sooner rather than later. But wait, there’s a curveball. Maybe there’s a reason why you’re chatting so much. Maybe you’re not actually all that interested or you’re honestly confused about whether or not she’s worth meeting in RL. If that’s the case, it’s time to figure out your feelings and decide if you’re going to meet up or move on. But act quickly — dating apps wait for no man.