Dating

Here’s How Your Body Language Could Be Cockblocking You

It doesn’t matter how smooth you are with words if your body screws you over in your interactions with women. If you aren’t having success meeting women in public or you can’t make it past the first date, ask yourself if these factors could be subtly sabotaging you:

  1. You keep your arms crossed. There’s a reason you probably think people who cross their arms look annoyed or standoffish: this gesture places a distinct barrier between you and the person you’re talking to. It’s a subconscious way of protecting yourself, and women you speak to will pick up on this. They might think you’re uncomfortable, angry, or just plain rude, even if everything else about you is flirty.
  2. You cover your mouth with your hand. There are a variety of reasons you might be consciously or subconsciously doing this, such as if you can’t hold back a laugh in the middle of a mouthful of food. But if you do this in the middle of conversations because, say, you’re self-conscious about your teeth, it gives the impression that you’re hiding something more important or holding back a lie. Showing off your smile is way more attractive than trying to cover it up.
  3. You don’t “point” towards the girl you’re talking to. When you’re interested in someone, every part of your body should indicate that you’re invested in her. Pointing your toes towards her when you’re chatting shifts your entire body just enough to prove that you’re engaged in the conversation. If your toes are pointed away from her, it suggests that you’re eager to walk away from her.
  4. You don’t make eye contact. Don’t focus on the floor, don’t focus on your surroundings, and definitely don’t focus on her cleavage. Avoiding eye contact with the woman you’re interested in can suggest a lot of things, and none of them will work in your favor. Looking away from her — whether down, up, or to the side — implies that you’d like to be anywhere but here. No matter how nervous you are, stay present in your conversation if you’d like to make it to the next step with her.
  5. You make yourself look small. Hunched shoulders, a slouching spine, and hands that are clasped in front of you make you look nervous or closed off. Open up your body to appear more confident and inviting: square your shoulders, stand up straight, put your feet shoulder-width apart, and tip your chin up just a little bit. As an added bonus, these are all adjustments that can help you look more masculine.
  6. You don’t smile with your eyes. It’s not enough to smile at the woman you’re talking to, and the wrong kind of smile can make you seem ingenuine. A true smile reaches all the way to your eyes and gives you temporary “crow’s feet.” Even if we aren’t paying attention to that little detail, people can tell when someone is actually happy to be around us, and that’s one of the first mental alarm bells go off and tell us that a boss, salesman, or yes, love interest is being “fake.”
  7. You keep your hands glued to your sides. Most people talk with their hands, at least to some extent. Keeping your hands in one place makes you come across as stiff, but a lot of guys do it when they get nervous and tense up. If you feel yourself getting nervous while chatting up a pretty girl, make a conscious effort to take a deep breath and relax each individual body part, starting from your fingertips and toes. Once you’re not so tense, it’ll feel more natural for you to throw in some hand gestures when you speak.
  8. You lean away from your conversation partner. Even if you’re sitting across the table from the woman you’re chatting with, you should still be aware of what your posture might be communicating. You don’t need to (and really shouldn’t) slouch forward onto the table, but leaning a little forward can show that you’re interested in her. Leaning back, on the other hand, can give the impression that you’re trying to create distance between the two of you.
  9. You’re physically blocking an exit. Just as making yourself look too small can be a turn-off for women. moving too far in the other direction can also have a negative impact on your dating life. If you position yourself in front of an open space in a crowd or post your arm up against a doorway, you could unintentionally be intimidating the woman you’re speaking to. This body language suggests that she can’t get away if she feels uncomfortable, and even if you’ve been super nice to her, it can still throw up red flags in her mind.
  10. You pick at your skin or tug at your clothes. Picking at your cuticles or fiddling with your sleeves is common behavior if you feel nervous or bored, and if you do it in front of someone, it becomes distracting. If you can’t help yourself, disregard number seven on this list and just put your hands in your pockets, where you can pick at the fuzz inside without it being too obvious.