Gifts are a tricky subject when it comes to dates, especially first dates. Even if your intentions are good, this thoughtful gesture can easily backfire, creating an uncomfortable atmosphere. Here’s how to navigate the issue.
- Don’t go overboard. There’s a gift like a pretty flower from your garden, and then there’s a gift like a bottle of her favorite perfume. The latter is OTT and looks like you’re trying a little too hard to make a good impression on her.
- Avoid the hidden agenda. If you give her a gift based on what she’s told you she likes but it’s really expensive, she might wonder what game you’re playing. Expensive gifts when you don’t know the person speak to a hidden agenda. For example, she might think that you’re trying to shower her with gifts because you’re love-bombing her or just trying to get laid. You don’t want her to get the wrong idea.
- Cute and funny is best. If you simply have to bring her a gift, make it a joke that refers to a funny conversation you recently had. Or, go the cute route and buy her something that will make her smile without making her think you took ages to buy it. The whole point is that you saw the gift and thought of her. That’s all you need, especially if you’ve just met her. Anything more than that is laying it on too thick and making things weird.
- Avoid anything too random. While being funny is awesome, you don’t want to give her a gift that’s a little too random to the point that it confuses her. For example, you know that she loves beach holidays and so you bring her sand from a beach you recently visited. Um, that’s not romantic or funny. It’s plain weird for her to leave the date with a sack of sand.
- Don’t be generic. You might think choosing standard gifts, such as roses or chocolates, is always a win, but these can actually be really boring. They tell her that you’re just following the rulebook instead of making a gift really count. It should be special and unique to her. For example, she might love flowers but in bright blue hues. So, if you’re going to give her a flower, go find one that’s been dyed blue. This shows her you pay attention to what she says and likes, and it makes an effort without being creepy or cliche.
- Don’t have them delivered. It’s not just what gift you buy but how she receives it that can make the difference between charming and creepy. Avoid having gifts delivered to her at her place of work or where she lives. Although it might look romantic on romcoms, it can give her the impression that you’re sneaking into her private life a little too quickly. If you’re going to give her a gift, bring it to the date location. That’s especially helpful in the case of a funny gift so you’re there to see her reaction and explain why you thought of her when you saw it.
- Tone down the romance. You might want the gift to be romantic, but keep it subtle – not just with the type of gift you buy for her, but also when it comes to what you say about it. If you wax lyrical about the gift you chose because it reminded you of her amazing eyes or what a beautiful personality she has, you’re starting to sound a little too desperate. You don’t want her to be creeped out thinking that you’ve already fallen in love with her and it’s only your second date! Keep the romance to a minimum and save it for later when you really have feelings for her. That’s when the romantic gifts will mean the most.
- Don’t do it on the first date. A general rule to follow is to avoid bringing her gifts on the first date. You don’t know each other that well and you don’t want to seem like you’re bringing her material gifts to try to win her over or compensate for what you think you might lack. Rather bring nothing but yourself to the first date and save the special gifts for a later date. Sorted.