Women go through a lot to smell great “down there.” We cleanse, we shave, we wax, we get laser hair removal, some of us even douche (which isn’t exactly healthy for vaginal pH, but I digress). I personally have always made a very pointed point of keeping my nether regions pleasantly-scented, especially after hearing about a college friend being called “Smelly Notch” by a rather large number of dudes. Still, we’re not the only ones who need to smell good below the belt—dudes need to take hygienic measures as well.
- For the love of God, shave. Women go through the agony of shaving and waxing to keep our nethers from looking like a tangled forest of pubes. Some even go through the aforementioned laser hair removal. I personally had laser hair removal done on my thighs, which thankfully included my bikini line, but I have friends who went full laser hair Brazilian. Yep, that’s right. And while we don’t expect our men to have lasers pointed at their junk, we do expect them to wax or at least shave. My first boyfriend did not shave…like, really did not shave.
I unfortunately will never forget blowing him for what I believe was the last time and trying not to get pubic hair in my mouth. Why my mouth, you ask? Because the hair was growing up his shaft. Yep, gross. He wasn’t particularly well-endowed to begin with, so you can imagine how hair made it seem even smaller. In addition to making your package look bigger, shaving means you won’t smell as much. Why? Stank clings to hair. Going down on that ex was an odorous nightmare, and one of the 500 reasons I broke up with him. Don’t expect women to be all pretty down there if you won’t return the same favor.
- Take a shower before you see her, please. That’s great that you just spent the last three hours at the gym. Your muscles are getting bigger and stronger…and your below-the-belt area probably smells like something the creature from the Black Lagoon rejected. If you have a hot date with your girlfriend or the woman you’re currently boning, do her a solid and take a shower. Wash your junk with meticulous care so it doesn’t smell like ball sweat. She’s not going to enjoy sucking you off if you still smell like the gym, and may refrain from similar activities in the future because you stink so darn bad.
- Spray a little cologne if you have to. No, I don’t mean spray your penis and balls with cologne so you can feel a non-STD-related burning sensation for the next few hours. Spray your torso while focusing on the area right above your pube line. Don’t douse the area, which could cause her nose to go numb. Just give it a light spray and think of it as an invitation. If your girl already likes how you smell or recently raved about your new cologne, she will probably be eager to see where you placed the scent the next time you’re messing around.
- If you don’t want to shave or wax, at least trim those coarse hairs. You don’t have to wax or shave your pubic hair if you are against it for whatever reason. No *cough* judgment here *cough cough.* But please, please for the love of sexually-active peeps everywhere, perform a lil trimmy-trim. Again, pretty much all women have no interest in flossing odorous pubic hair from their teeth. The more you trim, the less chance stank will have to cling to your package area and make women in your tri-state area loathe to blow you.
- Remember the effort she puts in if you don’t feel like doing any of the above things. Your girl goes through a lot to look and smell good for you. A lot. She washes every part of her body, she removes most of its hair, she puts on makeup, she styles her tresses, and she picks outfits she thinks you will like among many other things. Remember this the next time you don’t feel like showering after playing basketball under the hot sun when you know she’s coming over later. Women love—repeat, love—effort, so if you clearly don’t care that you smell bad down there or anywhere else, she’s probably not going to stick around long.