You’ve come to end of another relationship and your heart is broken. You’re trying to see the bright side of things, but the pain of loss is just too much and you’re wondering how you will ever survive a broken heart.
But the end of a relationship isn’t the end of the world. Your heart may be broken today, but there’s always tomorrow. In time, you’ll look back at this as a new beginning. But to get to that place, you have to face the situation and address your feelings. Here are some tips for how to survive a broken heart.
- Throw a pity party for yourself. The first thing I do after breaking up with someone is find a place where I can be alone so that I can throw myself a “woe is me, why is the world ending” party for myself. The relationship is over and you’re sad. Embrace the fact that you’re feeling like crap and let yourself have some time to cry and wallow in your pity, guilt, and/or regret.
- Acknowledge your pain and know when to let it go. Once you’ve had a chance to let powerful emotions free, it’s time to acknowledge your pain, address any mistakes you made in your relationship, and let it go. Whether the breakup is your fault or not, you’ll have things you wished you could have done differently. Acknowledge those things and make a mental note to change them in future relationships.
- Set new goals. A broken heart is great fodder for new beginnings. The end of a relationship can be a chance to set new personal goals for yourself. The goals will help you to reset your focus and take your mind off of your pain. You don’t want to ignore your feelings, but it’s also not healthy to wallow in them all the time.
- Stay single for a while. So many people jump from relationship to relationship without ever taking time to be alone. Staying single can allow you time to figure out who you really are so that you can look for someone more compatible in your next relationship.
- Learn how to detach. I’m not suggesting that you make yourself emotionally unavailable, but often we attach unrealistic expectations to relationships. This is your chance to examine those expectations and calibrate them to reality. Detaching also teaches you how to fill that void yourself without needing a relationship to do it.
- Help someone else. One of the most powerful truths in life is that you can create more of what you want in your life by helping others have it in theirs. Whatever you choose for yourself, give to another. And in that giving experience, you teach yourself how to have it for yourself. So, if you want to be happy, then help someone else be happy.
- Talk to someone. Whether it’s your friends or a good therapist, talking about your issues can help you to move beyond them. It also helps to hear other perspectives so that you can learn from the experience. Open up to someone so that you can get your thoughts, doubts, and frustrations outside of your head.
- Have fun. You may spend a couple of weeks wallowing in the pain, but eventually you’re going to get sick of feeling bad all of the time. Schedule fun things for yourself. Reconnect with your friends. Go on a road trip. This is a chance to have some fun and put the past behind you.
- Don’t contact or check up on your ex. The worst thing you can do is go snooping on their social media or send them a drunken text. You broke up for a reason, and it’s highly unlikely that getting back together is going to be better this time than the last time. Sever the contact and forget about them.
- Focus on yourself. The best way to survive a broken heart is to focus on yourself. Treat yourself. Focus on growing and achieving your goals. Do what you want to do. Eventually, the cliche will come true: time really will heal all wounds.
At the end of the day, only you can know what’s best for you. If you’re facing the end of a relationship, then do what makes you the happiest. Trying to survive a broken heart can be frustrating and sad, but you can take some of the pain out of it if you embrace it.