This is a tricky question that many guys (and women) have asked themselves on dating apps. Imagine the scenario: you match with an awesome woman and send her a message. She doesn’t reply. Or, she replies and you get to talking. Then one day, she just doesn’t reply to your message. When is it okay to send her another message and is it always a bad idea? Here are eight things to consider.
- If it’s your first message, give her some time. If you’ve just sent her a message to introduce yourself after matching with her and she hasn’t answered, you don’t want to rush in and send her another message right away. Clingy guy alert! Instead, take your time. Maybe she’s not too worried about replying right away or she’s busy. Give her a day or two to get back to you.
- Don’t re-send the same message. If you’ve been chatting to her for a while and then she suddenly doesn’t reply to your message, you don’t have to wait a day or two to contact her again because you’re more comfortable with each other. However, don’t send her the same message—double-texting is annoying! Instead, make your message creative. The same applies to a woman you’ve just started chatting to, FYI.
- If she replies to the second message, that’s awesome. If she doesn’t, you might wonder what to do. You might be tempted to send her a message on another platform, such as on social media if you have her details. Don’t do it! It looks like you’re stalking her or something, and comes across creepy AF. Once you’ve sent two messages and they’ve both been left without replies, you need to let her go.
- Check her previous texting behavior. Before you decide to send her that second message, look back on her previous texting behavior. Did she seem distracted lately? Was she replying with one-word answers? Did she take ages to reply even though she always used to be much more prompt? These are all signs that she was probably fading you out, and if that’s the case then you really shouldn’t waste your time trying to reconnect with her. She already had her eye on the exit.
- Could she be playing hard to get? One of the things that make it so difficult to know if you should send her another text or not is the issue of some women playing hard to get. She might be taking longer to reply to your messages to make you miss her and get in touch again. Well, damn, it’s clearly working, otherwise, you wouldn’t be reading this. If you suspect she could be playing hard to get, then go ahead and send her one more message to be sure. But bear in mind that even when women play hard to get, they’ll never play the game so hard that they just never reply to you. That’s called “not being interested.”
- Keep it casual. Avoid making any reference to how she hasn’t replied to your previous message. Instead, focus on something new. Tell her that she popped into your mind when you saw something earlier, and let her ask you what it was that made you think of her. This is the type of thing that could interest her to want to chat, and it shows her that you’re keeping things light which is much more appealing than if you get all heavy on her.
- Is it out of character for her not to reply to you? If you’ve been chatting to her on the dating app for a while now and it seems really unlike her not to reply to your message, then it’s easier to feel comfortable with sending her another text. Again, wait some time before doing so and ask her how she’s been or send her something funny to remind her of the great times you’ve shared via text.
- Don’t get mean. If she still doesn’t reply to your message, despite your best efforts, you have your answer: she’s not interested. Her silence speaks more than any words could. Walk away with class instead of dropping her a nasty comment. It’s best to just let this one go. There’ll be lots of other matches that’ll be worth your time.