Dating

Nice Guys Don’t Actually Finish Last

As someone who likes to think of himself as a nice guy, I can understand the frustration my fellow nice guys sometimes feel when it comes to the ladies. After all, we always heard growing up that “nice guys finish last,” so when you see a beautiful, sweet, and caring woman dating a jerk who doesn’t deserve to be with someone like that, it’s disheartening, to say the least. But fear not, fellow nice guys—everything you’ve been told is wrong.

  1. Altruism is sexy. Ah-ha! There’s scientific proof that women are attracted to guys who are kind and selfless. Why anyone would call for such a study is beyond me. Nevertheless, a study at the University of Worcester in the UK found that when it comes to long-term relationships, women preferred altruistic behavior over pure handsomeness. All is not lost, nice guys.
  2. We’re the ones that got away. In the past, you may have been overlooked or dumped in favor of a jerk with great abs, but something tells me most women end up regretting those decisions. Remember, we nice guys are a great catch, and while you got dissed by your crush, don’t discount the possibility that she now considers you to be her “one that got away,” which should give you some solace even if you didn’t end up with her.
  3. Fewer fights help our cause. We nice guys are usually an easygoing group of people. We like to keep the drama in our relationships to a minimum and avoid those screaming matches other couples deal with from time to time. With fewer flights, we give women fewer reasons to be mad at us, making them more likely to stick around and realize that being with a nice guy is the best way to go.
  4. We play the long game. As nice guys, we may have struggled with the ladies in high school and a little bit in college. But life and relationships are a marathon, not a sprint, and us nice guys can see that. We’re all about playing the long game, trusting in the process. Remember, jerks are high-strung and always wanting to go a million miles an hour. They’ll burn out quickly while we nice guys will have the stamina to win out in the end.
  5. We get outside support. Women don’t always recognize that they should be with a nice guy. Fortunately for us, their friends and family usually do. If a woman’s friends and family see her involved with a bad guy, they usually try to talk her out of it. Sooner or later, she’ll start listening to them. When she eventually finds her way to one of us nice guys, those same friends and family will be sure to approve of us, telling her not to let us get away. If you’re really a nice guy, remember that you’ll have plenty of support from others helping make sure you don’t finish last.
  6. We’re unselfish in the bedroom. Nice guys are selfless in every aspect of our lives, and that includes the bedroom. I can’t say for sure what jerks are like in bed (and frankly, I don’t want to know) but I can say that nice guys understand that it takes two people (at minimum) to have sex, so we make sure we pay attention to a woman’s needs in the bedroom. I know from experience that’s not always enough to win the war, but nice guys do get an A for effort, and that definitely helps us in the long run.
  7. The friend zone isn’t always forever. If you’re a nice guy, you should be quite familiar with being put in the friend zone. However, it’s not necessarily a permanent place. Yes, it can be an endlessly frustrating place to be, I can’t deny that, but it does keep you in the picture and gives the woman an unlimited number of opportunities to realize that a nice guy like you is what she wants. I can’t guarantee you’ll always get out of the friend zone, but most of us have managed to escape it once or twice, and there are plenty of movies you can watch that’ll give you hope too.
  8. We stay consistent. Unlike our douchebag brethren, nice guys are steady and reliable. There are no crazy mood swings and we don’t put up a facade. In short, what you see is what you get. Sure, some people might call that boring, but at a certain point, women stop seeing boring as the worst thing in the world, at which point, a nice guy can finally get his just reward.
  9. We can handle rejection. Is it just me, or are nice guys inherently better at dealing with rejection? Not that we get accustomed to it, but our lack of ego helps us not to take anything too personally or get down on ourselves too much. Meanwhile, the jerks who always get their way don’t do well when the stars suddenly don’t align for them. When it comes to the ladies, we nice guys won’t get too discouraged, and so when the right girl comes along, we won’t be too jaded or frustrated, enabling us to see that our time has finally come.
  10. Women eventually realize they want a nice guy. Women, just like men, make mistakes sometimes. They don’t always realize that a nice guy with whom everything is easy and comfortable is exactly what they want and need in a relationship. Fortunately, most of them come around eventually and realize that us nice guys are far superior to the other males of the species. That’s why nice guys don’t have to finish last.