Dating

So You Dreamed About Your Ex? What Does It Mean?

There you were, getting over your heartbreak and starting to date again when BAM — you dreamed about your ex and it was vivid AF. What on earth does it mean and why would you dream about her now? Before you think the dream means you should get in touch with her, here are eight things that you need to consider.

  1. You’re still into her.  You might be dreaming about your ex because you’re still interested in her, especially if the dream was about hot sex with her. Still, that doesn’t mean she’s dreaming about you, so don’t take it too seriously. Take the dream with a pinch of salt, remembering that time you dreamed of having sex with a famous celebrity. They didn’t fall into your life after that, did they? It’s fine to still have feelings for your ex as long as they’re not taking over your dating life or holding you back from amazing opportunities.
  2. You have unfinished business and never got closure. Maybe you thought you were finally over her but then this dream set you back. The thing to remember is that even if you have some unfinished business regarding your ex, this dream came out of your mind. It has more to do with your feelings towards your ex than with your actual ex. Maybe you still need closure for that breakup and the dream’s alerting you to that fact. Take some time to figure out how you feel and what you need to do so that the door to your past can be bolted shut for good.
  3. You’re sabotaging yourself. If it was difficult to get over your ex, dreaming about her now that you’re finally getting back into the dating game is telling. Maybe on some level you’re sabotaging yourself, destroying your chance of finding happiness again. It’s good to look deeper into your feelings surrounding the dream and figure out if there’s any truth to this.
  4. You’re risking a repeat performance. Dreaming of seeing your ex could point to the fact that there’s someone in your life who shares your ex’s qualities. Maybe there’s someone you’ve gone on a date with who’s a little more similar to your ex than you initially thought. Without being dramatic about this—after all, it’s just a dream— it’s good to keep your eyes peeled so that you don’t fall into the trap of dating someone who was just like your ex, especially if your ex was toxic. If she was great, then perhaps there’s someone in your life who’s going to be as wonderful a GF as she was. That’s good news, right?
  5. You’re feeling guilty. If you’re the one who ended your relationship with your ex, then dreaming of her when you’ve moved on might be a sign that you’re still feeling a bit guilty regarding the breakup. Maybe it’s time to go over the reasons you dumped her and why it was a good thing. Give yourself closure so you can move on properly.
  6. You’re unfulfilled. Dreaming of your ex might also hint to how you’re feeling unsatisfied in a current relationship, although that’s not always the case. It really depends on what the dream brings out of you and makes you feel. For example, if you’re dreaming of hot sex with your ex because your sex life with her was always amazing and in RL your sex life isn’t where you want it to be, then dreaming of your ex could point to your dissatisfaction.
  7. You still have some work to do. According to dream analysis expert Ally Mead, it’s really common to dream about our exes. This tends to happen when we’re entering or leaving a relationship because we’re emotionally vulnerable during these times. You dream of your ex because your unconscious is trying to sort out what’s going on and find new stable territory. As Mead continues, you don’t have to feel guilty for having these dreams if you’re dating someone new. They’re your mind’s way of helping you heal so you can move on properly from that relationship.
  8. You want to get back together with her.  If you think about your ex during hours when you’re awake, it’s only natural that she’d sneak into your dream world. Perhaps you’re not over her and you don’t want to be. You want to get back with her. Your dreams could be signs that your feelings are strong and you want a second chance. If that’s the case, then maybe it is time to pick up the phone and get back in touch. If only so that you’ll be able to reclaim undisturbed sleep.