Dating

10 Questions She Wants You To Ask On The First Date

First dates can be really awkward. We usually just end up recycling the same small old talk and getting bored and uncomfortable, but there are a lot of things girls want you to ask that you probably aren’t. The next time you’re on a first date and aren’t sure where to begin, ask her these questions:

  1. What kind of relationship are you looking for? You may think this is a bit of a premature question for a first date, but it could save you a lot of grief later on. If you’re looking for a long term relationship and she’s just in it for the sex (or vice versa), you’ll want to know that as soon as possible.
  2. Are you an extrovert or an introvert? Sometimes it’s hard to tell, one on one, if a person is extremely social or a bit quiet, but it’s a pretty important distinction as far as dating goes. Is this someone you can go out with every weekend with friends or is it someone you can stay in with and binge watch your favorite show? Women really just want to know what kind of person they’re dealing with, and you should too.
  3. When was the last time you were in a relationship? Now, obviously this one can be a bit tricky and not every girl wants to talk about her ex, but sometimes it’s really helpful to know where she’s coming from. It might save you a lot of time in the long run. If she’s been single for awhile, chances are things won’t be too complicated. But if she’s just come out of a really bad breakup, she might be emotionally distant or fragile. It’s always best to have as much information as possible.
  4. Where are you happiest? You can learn a lot about a person just by finding out what brings them joy. Most small talk that happens during a first date is pretty shallow and won’t get you very far in deciding whether or not the person you’re with is unique. Jobs, family members, college—none of it really gets to the heart of a person. If you ask where they’re happiest, you’ll probably learn a lot of really important information about who they are deep down.
  5. What shows have you been watching recently? This one is critical. You can’t date someone who’s already finished the show you’re just starting, and you definitely can’t date someone who doesn’t like the kind of shows you like. You need to find someone you can watch Netflix for hours with, otherwise, what’s the point?
  6. Dogs or cats? This is just behind favorite shows in the hierarchy of most important questions. Cat people and dog people should never date. It’s just asking for trouble. What if you’re obsessed with your cats but the girl you just met is allergic? What if you’re afraid of dogs and she has a great dane? What if one of you just can’t stand the other’s pet, period? Animals will always come before partners, so it’s better to get this information upfront rather than have an unhappy realization later on.
  7. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on? Dates are always good conversation starters, and women have more horror stories than you could imagine. If your goal is to be entertained while actually learning a few things (what not to do), definitely make this question a priority. The more guys that learn what constitutes a nightmare date for a woman, the less likely those dates are to continue happening.
  8. Are you happy with your job? What a person does for a living is nowhere near as important as how they feel about it. You might meet someone who works as a banker and think “Wow. This person is really boring.” But if you were to ask how they feel about their job, they might tell you that it’s really not a great fit for them because they’ve always had a passion for scuba diving and marine biology and they’re saving up enough money to go back to graduate school to become a scientist. If you’d stopped at “What do you do?” you’d never have learned the full story.
  9. What’s the worst pickup line a guy has ever used on a dating app with you? This is another question that could save your ass with prospective dates. There are many, many terrible examples of truly awful pickup lines, but the more we know, the less likely we are to continue using them. We owe it to womankind to learn as much as we can about how not to approach them, and it can be a kind of cathartic experience for them to retell their horror stories.
  10. What’s something really cool that I don’t know about you? Not everyone will have an amazing answer to this question, but most people have something really special and strange about them that they don’t think to tell everyone about. You may be on a date with a former child violin prodigy or someone who can hold a plank for half an hour. You never know. This question might lead you to your number reason for falling in love with them.