The question is as old as time: what do women really want? Men have been pondering that question for centuries. While I don’t recommend that you focus too much on the answer, I do suggest that you spend some time thinking about it. You shouldn’t be changing yourself to get a woman, but you should be aware of what they want.
A relationship is about two people who come together to share what they have in common and to grow together. In this sense, then, it’s a good idea to know what women want. It gives you an edge and a goal to strive towards. Here are just a few of the qualities they’re after.
- Honesty…but not too much. Women love a guy who is honest and direct. They want to know that you have the confidence and the courage to say how you really feel. This is because they’re constantly being hit on by guys who are just trying to get them into bed, so your ability to be honest works in your favor. But don’t be too honest—if she asks you if her dress makes her look fat, then you better not hesitate to say no.
- Individuality. Women love a man who is his own person. The most attractive quality a man can have is his individuality, the ability to think for himself. Take some time to hash out who you are and who you want to be. It’ll serve you well in more ways than one.
- Understanding. You don’t need to be able to predict her every move nor do you need to know her entire family history, but she wants to feel like you get her. She wants to know that you understand how she feels and that you are willing to hear her out and try to empathize even if you don’t.
- Strength. While being physically strong is a plus, that is not what I’m talking about. Can you handle what comes your way? The type of strength it takes to go after what you want in life is attractive. It takes strength to stare down the barrel of failure and continue trying. It takes strength to stand by her when times are tough. Do you have it?
- To feel safe. This is why the previous four traits are attractive. Women want to know that you’ve got their backs and that they can depend on you to keep them safe. It’s a bit of psychology leftover from our caveman days, where a man’s role was to protect the women and children. That’s not to say they can’t look after themselves—never mistakenly think that they can’t—but your willingness to do everything you can to ensure her well-being will mean the world.
- Security. This one usually depends on how mature the woman is. Younger/less mature women don’t worry about this one so much when they’re dating, but this eventually becomes the goal of most women, especially if they want to have a family. While it’s not your sole job to make her feel secure, it certainly helps if you can assure her that you have her back.
- To feel beautiful. Women are brutal with each other and often completely insecure with themselves. Ask the hottest woman in the world and she will tell you she’s insecure about her looks in some way. It’s part of the society we live in that demands women to look like supermodels. You don’t have to constantly tell her she’s beautiful to make her feel that way, though. Instead, give her an honest compliment about something you find beautiful about her.
- Respect. You aren’t trying to change who she is. You aren’t constantly criticizing her or pushing past her boundaries. Respect her as a person, and respect her boundaries. It’s as simple as that.
- Time. Why are you in a relationship if you don’t want to spend time with the person you’re dating? A woman who loves you wants to spend time with you. You don’t have to spend every waking second with her, but you should show her that she’s a priority in your life.
- Good sex. Yup, she probably wants sex as much as (or more than) you. The difference is that women want to be romanced first. The foreplay happens long before you have sex. Tease her. Get into her head. Lead her to it from the moment you wake up.
It’s time to take an inventory of yourself to see what you need to do to get there. Approach it as self-improvement: who do you have to become to be the kind of man that women find attractive? When you answer that question, you’ll know exactly what women want—and, more importantly, you’ll know exactly who you want to be.