The days and weeks after a breakup can be very tough. It’s very easy to feel like something massive is missing from your life, even if you were the one who ended the relationship. The post-breakup blues are a very real thing, which means that your thoughts and feelings are probably all over the place. Instead of acting irrationally, follow this simple list of Dos and Don’ts while you work through it.
- Don’t call her or text her. Look, I get it, you miss her and you still care about her. You just want to see how she is, right? While it might seem like the right thing to do, it’s not. If she broke up with you, you’re only going to torture yourself by contacting her and put her in an awkward situation. If you broke up with her, you’re only making things worse by reaching out to her, possibly igniting some false hope of a reunion. Leave the contacting each other off; it’s for the best for both of you.
- Don’t stalk her social media. When you miss your ex, you’ll naturally want to see what’s she up to or look at photos of the two of you together. Facebook is the most convenient place to be able to do these things, but it’s definitely not a good idea. Again, you’ll only torture yourself and make yourself feel even worse about the whole thing. Forget about Facebook or Instagram or Twitter for a while. In fact, delete her and maybe even block her on social media for a while, until you get a better handle on things and have moved on a bit.
- Don’t say you’ll never get over her. Fortunately, time tends to heal all wounds. While you might feel like the breakup is the worst thing to ever happen to you, it will inevitably get easier to deal with over time. Very few people in history have broken up with someone and never gotten over it. It will take some time, but you’ll get there in the end.
- Don’t develop bad habits. Alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, and bad food are the go-to vices to help you cope after a breakup. While they may numb the pain temporarily, consuming these items frequently is a terrible idea and over time, they’ll only make you feel worse. Stay away from them because they don’t help. Instead, engage in a healthier lifestyle and do things that serve you well, like aiming for a promotion at work or developing a weekly gym routine.
- Don’t try and get revenge. After a while, you might start feeling angry at her—she hurt you after all. Well, that’s not the right way of thinking about it. Don’t try and contact her friends or hook up with them. That’s not fair to her or her friends. Don’t stalk her, send her nasty messages, or badmouth her to anyone who will listen either. It’s vindictive, pathetic, and not the person you want to be.
- Do try and improve yourself. That’s not to say that the relationship ended because you weren’t good enough, but instead of developing bad habits as mentioned above, why not do the opposite and try and improve who you are? Whether these improvements are physical, mental, or emotional,
- Do accept that it’s over. They say acceptance is the final stage of grief but it should be the first stage in getting over a breakup. You have to admit that this chapter of your life is closed and truly accept it before you can begin to move on.
- Do look to your friends for support. What else are friends for than to cheer you up when you’re down? When you’re in a relationship, it’s often hard to get out and see the people who always had your back. After the breakup, try and do some stuff with the guys and re-strengthen those bonds. Being with your friends and having fun will be a great distraction and help you keep your mind off your ex.
- Do get outside and do stuff. If you’re just sitting inside the whole time by yourself, it’s only inevitable that you’ll just keep mulling over the relationship, what happened, and what went wrong. Go for a walk in the local park, go to the beach, go to a museum. Sitting inside all day just leads down dark paths and isn’t good for you in any way. Get out of the house and keep yourself occupied.