Women Can Be Narcissists Too—Are You Dating One?

When we think of narcissism, it’s a trait most commonly associated with men. After all, it’s men who tend to manipulate the people they love to get ahead. Make no mistake, women can also be narcissistic as well, and in many cases, narcissistic women can be even more dangerous because they’re more difficult to spot. Once you do see it, you might be too late and the damage to your psyche and heart has likely been done. Here’s how you know whether or not you’re dating a female narcissist.

  1. Your loved ones tell you she’s not right for you. Have you noticed your family and closest friends telling you that she isn’t right for you? If there’s an overwhelming majority voting in favor of booting her, there’s likely something there. We’re often blinded by love or what we perceive to be love. Those who are on the outside looking in tend to have a clearer view of things. They aren’t watching the relationship from behind rose-colored glasses, so they’re more likely to see the truth.
  2. She has an air of superiority over you. Narcissists feel like they are better those around them. It shouldn’t be a surprise that if you’re dating a female narcissist, she will act like she’s better than you. If she puts down your intelligence, belittles your job, makes jokes about your education, etc. and does so with ease and nonchalance, she might be displaying narcissistic tendencies.
  3. She has a sense of entitlement. If she’s someone that tends to feel she’s entitled to anything and everything on a consistent basis, this is a tell-tale sign. She’ll likely lash out when she doesn’t get something she wants or if things don’t go as she originally planned. Because she feels she’s entitled to get what she wants or needs, she tends to get it most of the time. When she doesn’t, her true persona makes an appearance in the form of a spoiled, angry woman.
  4. Money is overly important to her. Female narcissists tend to place a lot of importance on money. If she’s with you, there’s a pretty big chance that you make a good living. She likes money and the power that comes with it. It’s also not just obtaining money—she’s all about spending it on clothes, jewelry, and other high-end items that boost her appearance.
  5. She has an obsession with her appearance. Because she knows that physically beautiful women can be captivating to anyone and that she can use it to her advantage. She takes time to focus on her appearance most every day. She’s likely the most attractive women in any room she walks into. Don’t you worry, she’s very aware of this fact.
  6. She controls the relationship. This one might be hard to admit, but as the saying goes, she wears the pants in the relationship. There’s a good chance she has a controlling stake in the partnership because as already stated, she wants things her way. That would obviously include making sure she leads and makes many of the decisions on the relationship while leaving you very little say in things. What makes her good at what she does is her ability to make you feel like this is for your own good. You likely don’t see it as her controlling things, rather it’s just her looking out for your best interests.
  7. She doesn’t admit or apologize when she’s wrong. All relationships have their fair share of disputes and arguments. Most couples have fights but they work through them after meaningful dialogue. If she’s a narcissistic woman, you’ll find that she deflects all blame onto you (or literally anyone/anything else) during an argument and will very rarely take ownership for mistakes or wrongdoings. Apologizing is difficult for her and there’s a good chance you won’t ever hear her say she’s sorry. The matter gets resolved when you get over it. Or even worse, you’re often guilted into being the one to apologize because she has the ability to make you feel like you’re always the one in the wrong.
  8. She has very little empathy. When things go wrong in your life or you’re going through a painful time, she might not show much empathy for you, and that’s simply because the issue doesn’t affect her. She might have the ability to show empathy, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s genuine.
  9. She’s always the center of attention in the relationship. Whenever you two are somewhere together, whether it be a party, family function, or just out at a bar, she steals the show. She craves the attention and will outshine you. She makes everything about herself and gives you little credit. If you often feel little next to her, this is a major red flag.